The way to build confidence isn’t through shame and guilt. But that’s how it’s always taught:

Your mom said it when you were too shy to make new friends. Your best friend said it that one time you wouldn’t go flirt with the cute guy at the bar. Or maybe your teacher said it when you stumbled your way through a class presentation.

The point is, at some point in your life, someone has told you that you need to be more confident. It almost has a negative connotation to it, doesn’t it?

That’s why, today, we’re taking a different approach. 

In these 3 exercises for building confidence, I’ll teach you how anyone— from the shy to the anxious— can feel more empowered one day at a time.

RELATED: What’s Imposter Syndrome? How To Overcome it in 30 Days

How To Build Confidence To Get What You Want

Confidence is a state of mind that you can develop just like any other skill. To learn how to build confidence, you need to start by understanding what confidence is and the benefits it brings.

Confidence is not about being arrogant or thinking you’re better than everyone else. It’s about having the certainty that you can succeed at whatever you want.

It’s a skill that helps you overcome obstacles because it allows you to think positively about your future. When you’re confident, you know that things will work out in your favor because you’ve already imagined them working out in your favor.

So how can you trick your mind into thinking you’re confident when you’re actually not? Here are a few ways:

Step #1: Create a Street Credit List

Knowledge builds confidence. It’s called the “confidence heuristic.“

This is the idea that if you can convince yourself that you know what you’re doing, you’ll appear confident to others. 

The more confident others perceive you to be, the more likely you’ll finally go on that date, ask for a raise, or finally post those Tik Tok videos.

The way to convince yourself you know what you’re doing is by developing “street credit.” Basically, you want to arm yourself with as much information as possible so that you can convince people (and yourself) that you’re prepared for anything. 

Here are some ways to create a Street Credit List:

• First Date Street Credit: Find out what people are Googling about first dates. Do most people want to kiss on the first date? Where should you go? 
• Promotion Street Credit: Take a new course or apply for a mentorship program. Use this new street cred to prove to your boss that you’re worthy of that promotion and raise. 
• Social Media Street Credit: Find out what’s trending, watch YouTube videos on how to edit videos, and analyze what others are posting. Once you know what to post, you’ll feel more confident about what to create!

When you feel confident, you project an air of self-assurance that’s hard to ignore. This kind of poise makes people want to listen to what you have to say, and it can help you get what you want.

Exercise #2: Don’t Hide Your Flaws

If there’s one thing people who have low self-esteem have in common, it’s pointing out their flaws. 

And because you notice those flaws above everything else, you don’t believe you deserve good things, or you don’t think you can do anything right — even if you do have talent or ability.

So yeah, there’s room for improvement. Now embrace it.

If someone asks you to perform a task at work that you don’t know how to do, tell them. One of my favorite ways of doing this is by saying, 

“You know, I don’t know how to do that. But I will by tomorrow.”

People will appreciate your honesty in the first part. The second part of that sentence shows people you’re confident enough to learn how to solve problems. It’s highly likely they offer to help and that means building a relationship.

That circles us back to the confidence heuristic. You’re building street credit (a.k.a experience) which helps you feel confident in your abilities. 

Exercise #3: Compliment 1 Person Every Day

This one is specific, but it’s one everyone can do, and there’s a purpose to it:

It gets you out of your comfort zone.

This is a great confidence-building exercise for those with anxiety. It only takes a couple of seconds, and it focuses on someone else rather than on you. 

Compliments simultaneously build others’ confidence and self-esteem as well as your own. As Happify puts it, “Giving a genuine compliment requires us to look for the good in others. In doing so, we also start to see the good in ourselves.”

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with or without — it’s something that comes from building strength and self-belief over time. So be patient and practice.

Feel confident that you’re putting your best foot forward with your resume.  Join my Resume Masterclass at this link and learn how to tailor your resume for the career you want.